Ep 54. Going with the flow with Artist & Podcaster Juliana

I n the 54th Episode of The Arts to Hearts Podcast,
Podcast Host & founder of Arts to hearts project Charuka Arora is joined by Artist & Podcaster Juliana Laury.
Juliana Laury creates intricate one-of-a-kind work that fuses the natural world with the human experience. She is a fine artist, a writer, and a mother of three.

Juliana on instagram:

Juliana’s website:

Celine’s Podcast ‘ FLOW ‘:

Charuka Arora, Founder of Arts To Hearts Project

Charuka On Instagram:


A collaboration between @artstoheartsproject & @visionaryartcollective

Guest curator: Victoria J Fry, Artist, educator & founder of visionary art collective

Theme: Home

Eligibility:Women artists across the globe

Deadline: 13th December 12 midnight EST



00:00.-5 charukaarora Hey, you guys welcome back to the arts fewhats podcast and this is your who’s Sarah ah I am here on a very very special episode like always, but this 1 ne’s a little more special I’ll tell you why today I have someone who was my first art swap. Artist friend she right now I can see my work as I as we recording this flight right on the back of where she’s sitting. She’s a lovely lovely human being. She’s an amazing artisans and soed out to have her work with me. She’s an amazing poet.
00:38.0 Juliana Laury Brief children. Not who.
00:39.2 charukaarora Ah, you know I mean there’s so much flower collector. Beautiful artist mother and recently she’s also added 1 more thing on her list which is a podcast house. So yes I have so many of these in 1 person with me today. And let me introduce with you. My favorite juliana welcome to the podcast. Oh my god I still we made this possible I’m so so excited I okay so like me just so of course I I have so many questions for you.
01:00.9 Juliana Laury Thank you? hello.
01:17.1 charukaarora But you here I all hope issues. Um you out amongst all of these things that you are you? Also someone who has a very very different relations I mean of course they quite a bit but how you handle it. Um.
01:24.4 Juliana Laury This is cut.
01:36.6 charukaarora Relationship with social media How you’re dealing as an author. So many things Oh my God I am so excited. So.
01:41.1 Juliana Laury Thank you? Yeah well I I’m excited just like you said I’m excited to have a conversation and I have nothing prepared there. So so yeah, yeah, um, but yeah, um.
01:49.8 charukaarora Um, same here never provide. But and that’s actually a love.
01:59.3 Juliana Laury To just kind of answer whatever questions you have and and talk through this is um is always good practice for me to with writing I get to orchestrate what I say and edit it all down and with my podcast. It’s um, very highly produced. And it’s not an interview style so because of that a lot of editing happens. So I’m excited to do an interview that is like the opposite. There’s no editing.
02:25.3 charukaarora Oh my God I’m so happy that this is happening here with me. So okay, let’s get into it before we go. Let’s talk a little bit ah about who you are so people who are listening to us. Can you introduce yourself and what you do.
02:41.6 Juliana Laury Sure, um, because I don’t have 1 scripted but I think everybody is always interested to hear what I have to say because I make a new I make a new bio up every single time somebody asks.
02:43.8 charukaarora I am and I’m actually I’m looking forward to this answer right now. Um.
03:00.7 charukaarora And.
03:01.4 Juliana Laury But I’m like who am I today what happened last night and I updated. It’s always a refresh um now yeah I’ll I’ll see what comes out. Let’s let’s just see what I can split balls here. So um, yeah, let’s go with the flow.
03:05.9 charukaarora Um, my God Yes, let’s see let’s see let’s go with the flow. Yeah.
03:18.7 Juliana Laury So the reason I that is flow is the name of my podcast. Um, so I am Julianna laurri I am a mother of 3 small children. My children are all under the age of four I have an almost almost 4 year old
03:21.2 charukaarora Um, yes.
03:37.7 Juliana Laury A 2 year old and a 1 year old and primarily I’m best known for the photography work I did before I became a mom and then during covid I did a lot of en causstic 3 dimensional artwork. But recently when I found out we had our. Third I switched over to writing so it’s been an ever-changing sort of an evolution of myself as ah as an artist and taking in multiple art forms and finding joy in all of them and um. I recently did launch a podcast. So for me, words are arts and the podcast is called flow and it is a highly produced piece. It is the story of me writing my book. So it’s the story of how I am managing.
04:14.8 charukaarora Yeah, a.
04:32.8 Juliana Laury This very hectic home life with the kids being so little and also an incredibly um gosh an insatiable desire to create that it’s such a part of who I am and I it’s something that I’m not really able to.
04:46.0 charukaarora Yeah.
04:52.8 Juliana Laury Let go of or even put on pause So flow is is my way of stepping you into my brain of what’s going on.
05:02.1 charukaarora This is so so amazing I Especially love how how the word you out of your mouth which was that you transition from photography to Caustic. Writing and I Just love how confidently you said that.
05:26.2 Juliana Laury Yes I love I love being multi-pasate I love the fact that um, nothing is guaranteed and nothing is stagnant. But that’s just the way life is I think 1 thing that having my kids so.
05:30.7 charukaarora And.
05:45.4 Juliana Laury Quickly really taught me as that you know change is inevitable change is something that happens every day for us and for some people change happens much more dramatically um in certain seasons of our lives.
05:58.9 charukaarora Yeah.
06:02.9 Juliana Laury But it really gives you this perspective of like nothing is sacred right? Everything can change anything can change. Your life is not as we just discussed. It’s not the scripted bio. You know it’s not um, something that is cookie cutter.
06:16.4 charukaarora And.
06:21.5 Juliana Laury And I celebrate that I love celebrating that part of myself I Love accepting that I’m a little bit impatient with my art in that I am always looking to try something new and I don’t really settle very easily into 1 medium and then stay there but I like that about myself. I’m really proud of it like you said it comes off in that confidence because it’s something that I truly love about who I am.
06:46.4 charukaarora Oh My God Love that. So so much because that is also like that’s that’s the part of being multipassionate I am I am someone back for myself and it truly is how much. It’s It’s such a. It’s such a war between 2 like where you want to know that of because because we are always taught that oh my God you need to be 1 like how we associate everything with 1 identity and when someone who’s wants to be more than just 1 just. That 1 could be someone else’s define our own definition. Anyone’s definition. But so many times we just are always in this war where which is discovering should we? The war is not between what should be next the wall is we ask this question instead of what. Asking What’s next we ask why? next.
07:45.6 Juliana Laury I Love that? yeah.
07:48.8 charukaarora So okay, let’s talk about your first like how first let’s talk about a little bit about how did you grow up and if you always grow up as a creative child and what was creativity to you then.
08:05.0 Juliana Laury Um, my mom. My thirtieth birthday was in May and my mom made a scrapbook for me and she found I used to do scrapbooking it turns out and like middle school and even younger than that and she found this scrapbook that.
08:15.2 charukaarora Hello.
08:24.6 Juliana Laury I had made when I was nine years old and on the front it said art is life so the 9 year old version of me wrote that down and I look at it actually keep it on my bookshelf so that I look at it all the time because.
08:29.8 charukaarora Oh my god.
08:44.1 Juliana Laury It reminds me that even though I don’t remember writing that that I’ve always been this way like I’ve always loved art since I was little and I’ve always very much like the fact that I wrote art is life I mean it’s like what what 9 year old writes that but.
08:59.2 charukaarora Well.
09:03.5 Juliana Laury My big mantra Now that’s interesting because I I live by this that I um love the quote by Helena Bonham carner that life is art and that’s my.
09:14.3 charukaarora Both.
09:19.5 Juliana Laury That’s my daily mantra I Really believe that life is art everything that we do is art me raising. My children is art. My words are art any physical art that I do is art the way I Love people um is art and it’s so fun to think that I.
09:24.4 charukaarora And.
09:36.7 Juliana Laury That exact sentence a little bit swapped was something that I wrote down at 9 years old so I know it’s a little bit of fun. Yeah yeah, exactly exactly like you know just I love I love that I’ve always been this way that I’ve seen.
09:40.6 charukaarora All of all the um man. Um, and.
09:53.5 Juliana Laury The way in which we exist in the world like our being is a form of art great and I think I’ve always been that way. Um, but my mom keeps like pulling things out of the archive at my house that reminds me oh wow I never remember doing that you know she told me when I was in high school I used to wake up at 5 in the morning to.
09:56.0 charukaarora Me yeah.
10:12.8 Juliana Laury Right? before school and I don’t even remember doing. But apparently I did I got up before the Sun rose when I was in high school and I would write I think it was mostly just journal stuff I don’t know because I haven’t gone back to look I don’t believe I wrote like short stories or anything but just like writing as a medium.
10:15.1 charukaarora Oalla.
10:32.1 Juliana Laury For release you know for therapy. Really I mean that’s a big part of how I came to writing more regularly is that I needed some therapy and everybody needed therapy during Covid I think everybody needs therapy for themselves in some way the older we get the more. Struggles that we encounter the more we realize that sort of the quote unquote self-care isn’t really taking a warm bath. It’s actually deeper than that. It’s the the deep internal therapeutic work. We need to do and writing has just always been. Ah, that medium for me. But I’ve always interchanged that with with physical art I did kind of the same thing as now I did a little bit of everything I was not an art major in high school because I wasn’t. Good at drawing and I was never good at sort of traditional hand work art forms that are best known for art majors in college I would have to take.
11:25.6 charukaarora And.
11:35.7 charukaarora Who are.
11:40.5 Juliana Laury Drawing classes so that I could get into art school cause I wasn’t good at drawing I wasn’t good at painting I wasn’t good at making anything any figure I I couldn’t make like a I couldn’t draw a portrait or anything like that. But I could do abstract stuff. And it made me feel like well I couldn’t be an art major because I couldn’t draw the anatomy so I would take like private classes so that I could try to get an art called like art school for college but it did make me kind of question like um am I an artist even at a very young age and.
12:00.3 charukaarora And.
12:13.1 charukaarora Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:16.1 Juliana Laury Think I was ever told that writing is art. It was never really script and so for me to just journal. My mom was like oh everybody Journals and I’m like oh okay, so um, turns out that’s not necessarily true. But yeah.
12:24.7 charukaarora Um. Yeah.
12:33.5 Juliana Laury I mean I’m sort of circumnavigating your question a little bit but I’ve always been interested in art forms that are not the traditional majors in college like in college there are certain major drawing major your graphic design major your.
12:42.8 charukaarora Now.
12:49.3 Juliana Laury You know your jewelry major your sculpture and I always sort of felt like I wasn’t any 1 of those things I was sort of this amalgamation of all of them and that makes it hard when you live in a world that’s like oh well you what do you want to be when you grow up and you’re like okay we’ll have to pick something so.
12:56.6 charukaarora Yeah.
13:07.4 Juliana Laury You can’t say 7 things you have to say 1 um.
13:07.9 charukaarora Yes, and you know because that’s what you’re taught like and the question is not like the question is what what do you want to be like how it’s it is a singular question. It’s not even in the question that there is a probability that you want to be more than 1.
13:25.1 Juliana Laury Yeah, and I think what I’m understanding now is the question is posed incorrectly the question that is asked is what do you want to be and really the question should be who do you want to be? oh.
13:36.9 charukaarora Trying to be yes, you know what? I remember when with the first time I don’t know how I discovered you I don’t even remember now but I have always always loved. I I what I really love about you is that you are such a thoughtful storyteller and I think someone someone asked me, um, that is that’s what resonates with me, you know.
14:04.1 Juliana Laury Thanks.
14:15.0 charukaarora Like I am someone who really likes to be like I am naturally very like I like to have these deep conversations and all of these things and I was always very like a lot of times I’ve been quite conscious about like you know I can’t I’m the worst person when it comes to caing through a life. You know. Making things maybe a little lighter. All of those things and but again what you what you are you? you like the same thing and somehow I felt so I have always been a weak reminder of your work and what really resonates with me is. How in every form even if let’s say the incostic work that you were making it was not the work entirely. It was your process of sharing that work. Why how you were collecting those hours how you took us on that journey. How I was on that part of your journey. And how that made me see um my question is that in in you’ve had quite a bit um things that you’ve done what is that 1 thing that in amongst all of these things that you feel is you’re flying me the art. If if we isolate Medium. Do you think that’s 1 sign not that you’re trying to do with any any medium that’s here.
15:39.1 Juliana Laury Well, right now I feel that it’s my words I feel that my words are um, my most stripped down. Honest art form that I could possibly find um which is why for me this writing a book and also having a creating a podcast that is essentially audio performance art in my opinion. That’s.
16:11.3 charukaarora Yeah.
16:13.8 Juliana Laury What I see it as um I’m gonna just kind of go down something that’s kind of deep. But um, yeah, um I was thinking I always think about legacy right? I think about like what.
16:21.9 charukaarora You know I love that. That’s my wife.
16:31.5 charukaarora Long.
16:33.6 Juliana Laury Lives on we die and when I was a photographer I really believed year like few years ago I had been doing it for 7 years I really believe that the work that I was doing would live on Beyond me especially when it came to weddings right? I would shoot these people’s weddings and there.
16:49.5 charukaarora No.
16:53.0 Juliana Laury Wedding album would sit I had this vision of the grandchild finding their grandfather’s grandparents you know wedding album in the attic and brushing the dust off and I always said like that’s my work in there right? I might be dead but my photos are.
16:57.9 charukaarora Oh my.
17:05.9 charukaarora Yes.
17:12.1 Juliana Laury Still of value to my the people who who chose to like hire me for this work and so I’ve always I’ve always felt very deeply tied to legacy what is left um Beyond death and I think about death all the time.
17:20.5 charukaarora No.
17:31.9 Juliana Laury And I think about mortality all the time and so when we were I was struggling and you know I was having um my first real true depression last winter I always come back.
17:44.1 charukaarora Yeah.
17:47.0 Juliana Laury This sort of like why am I here right? We all come back to that question like why am I here? What am I doing um other than whatever this self-serving thing is why why be here at all and I’m always working to create something that will live on beyond me. It’s so important and.
17:58.4 charukaarora Yeah. And.
18:06.6 Juliana Laury Was reading the words of other people and I have a whole bookshelf worth of books that have touched me books that made me cry um and same thing like movies even are a great storytelling I’ve listened to albums that cry you know and I was just down this path of like voraciously.
18:16.3 charukaarora Yeah, absolutely.
18:25.9 Juliana Laury Digesting any storytelling that would make me feel alive that made me feel human and I thought you know these people I’ll never meet these people and yet somehow their words are touching me in a really deep way and so when you say to me that.
18:28.4 charukaarora And.
18:42.7 Juliana Laury Any journey that I’ve ever taken you on with my words and my storytelling has been an impact to you. That’s the greatest compliment I could ever get because I’ve gotten that from other storytellers I’ve gotten that from musicians and from authors and from you know, screenwriters and and any kind of art form that is storytelling.
19:01.3 charukaarora I.
19:02.7 Juliana Laury That makes you sit there and think Wow How amazing are we are even here at all that we are alive and so I was thinking like art is any form of course and I guess writing was therapy for me and. I Just feel so called to use words as art. So for now that’s both the written word and it’s also the spoken word and both of those things feel very tied to me I don’t think.
19:25.7 charukaarora Me partly.
19:36.1 Juliana Laury I am the type of person only wants my words to be on a screen I Really want them to be heard I want them to be ingested in another format other than just on ah on a page drum in black and white and so yeah, think for me, words are art and that’s kind of the thing.
19:44.9 charukaarora Yes, yeah.
19:55.6 Juliana Laury And of course the parent in me says my children are art too right? every day.
19:57.5 charukaarora Oh my God I Love that perspective. Absolutely you they are your creations. Absolutely yes, you did you literally did and you know if if we also see this. Um.
20:02.7 Juliana Laury Um, and I made them. Yeah I literally grew them. So.
20:17.9 charukaarora Metaphorically you have literally made them. Let’s say in flesh of course like you’ve given birth to them and everything but you’re also making them every day. Of course they are a person of their own. They will eventually become person of their own which is also with our art. Once our role is there. It’s Done. It goes and lives a life of its own whatever that may be be the book. The podcast the artwork anything until the time that we are making it. It is our creation and once it’s. Our contribution to it’s done. It’s a life of its own.
20:57.2 Juliana Laury Yeah I love that you notice that because what I I love speaking to people with this kind of with the kind of perspective that you have and that I think is something that people and enjoy about me is this perspective but I I just love that you said that because. Yes, you can see that as you said you’re making any art form you’re making it and the process of making it as a part of your art. But then when that is done when that work of yours is done. It goes on and it lives on as I said it lives on Beyond you it lives on. Um.
21:27.7 charukaarora Me.
21:36.3 Juliana Laury In Thanks of you because of you but you have ath. Let it go and and I always sort of joke like my arts my baby you know I I joke like oh um, I’m sending my art baby out in the the world but it is sort of how it feels I think as artists whether you’re a parent or not you.
21:39.0 charukaarora Um, yeah, ah.
21:56.1 Juliana Laury Put some real heart into what it is that you’re releasing and you can’t help but feel really protective and sort of overly loving towards that thing and when it lives in somebody else’s house. You get excited.
22:07.9 charukaarora Yeah.
22:12.7 Juliana Laury Um I imagine my children are very young but I imagine that’s going to be amplified when they go out. They go to college and I have to walk away and drive home and my 18 years of raising them is over and it’s sort of like I made.
22:14.0 charukaarora Yeah.
22:28.7 Juliana Laury I Did what I could do right? I I made this I enjoyed it I Loved I loved and I struggled with this process and now now it’s your turn to go live your own life and keep taking what I you know gave you by.
22:46.0 charukaarora And it is It is such like you know I have I don’t have children but you know what I have like I know what it feels to have something that you love very very strongly I don’t know what it means to have something.
22:47.2 Juliana Laury Um, done.
23:05.7 charukaarora Um, that you push out of your body that you literally make yourself but I know what it means I maybe it’s just what I feel are my babies are just not human I have 3 lovely girls but who literally are something that I feel as so much part of me and even even without work.
23:14.9 Juliana Laury Yeah.
23:25.4 charukaarora Um, I feel like it is this? Um I recently lost my mom um and now I feel like I’m I always owe life from 1 perspective and ever since she’s gone I feel like there’s this. Another perspective that I never could feel that now I feel every day. Um, the perspective that the narrative like the belonging is like the belongingness that you feel and you have something that you’re a part of something torishi gone I’m still a part of her. Not here. But now as a part of who she I am still a part of her. She’s gone and I am going to move forward as someone of my own but also someone who is a part of who she was.
24:19.6 Juliana Laury Yeah I I think I’ve done a lot of studying grief I’m really interested in the ways in which studying death. Are probably the most essential lessons for life and you know my and my heart really hurts for you that you lost your mom I I think whenever somebody tells us this very life changing thing Happened. We have to.
24:54.6 charukaarora O.
24:57.2 Juliana Laury And there and we have to hold space for that sentence and we have to sit just respect that you’re going through a grief process that I have never been through and just like you can say oh well I’ve never been a mom like I’ve never lost my mom. You know you and I can sit here on opposite sides of the world with. Ah screen and a microphone connecting us yet. We both have experienced lifeanging perspective changing experiences and even though they were 2 different things we can stand in awe of 1 another and say wow I respect you.
25:17.1 charukaarora So yeah.
25:26.8 charukaarora And and now.
25:36.0 Juliana Laury I see you and I hold space for how you are now a new person and I feel that way about you know, giving birth to new children makes you when you lose people especially like somebody in your family a sibling or a parent.
25:41.9 charukaarora Um, and absolutely.
25:53.5 Juliana Laury You are forever changed by that event. It’s the same right? You’re not ever going to be the person who you were before that event but you’re not meant to be. You’re meant to grow from it and you’re meant to walk through the world as this new version of you and.
25:54.4 charukaarora Man.
26:11.9 Juliana Laury I think the thing that we have a lot of we struggle with in trauma or or grief or whatever word you want to use is the thing that we struggle is to accept this new version of who we are because we miss the old version and I had moments of that I Miss old self.
26:22.0 charukaarora And I think is that that’s true I think that’s absolutely true and I think once struggle is imports the cases 1 struggle is that you there is either in addition or. Action of your own identity something that has either added that let’s say when you become a mother you have become a mother and you like that is another aspect has been added to your identity and I think now when I experience what I’m experiencing I feel like when you lose a parent is. It’s something that’s been taken maybe from your identity. There’s a abstraction that’s something that at least that’s what I feel. Um, that is that you thought you were and suddenly’s oh in one second it’s not that anymore. This is I think the psychology part. But the other part is also figuring out when you have a new baby apart from your own identity that you’re figuring out. There’s there’s an entire new human being that is suddenly a part of your life that you need to function around that you want to that you’re into defense. Didn’t see that your life is entangled with now so that that is like another thing in the in the air that’s happening and when you lose someone especially as a parent. Um, it’s how you function without them because it’s so deeply deeply. Into interwebbed into our lives that now I think um I have to think twice everything that I do because um, somebody or the other it. It leads up to her and now I need to know. Okay, how do i. Ah, do I do this Um, and not have 1 into it and I think these 2 both the processes um are just you know like how they are just like 2 flip sides of the same coin.
28:35.0 Juliana Laury I agree completely I Love that you said that? Yeah I love that you are so introspective I could feel like I could talk to you all day about this stuff because I’m looking at the time clock and we’re like.
28:45.5 charukaarora Um, a.
28:50.4 Juliana Laury Less than thirty minutes in and we’re already in this really deep place and I love that um I just get a love joy out of talking about the things that take people years to process and I think it’s so healthy for you to talk about this stuff now because her passing is still.
28:51.0 charukaarora Are there.
29:01.0 charukaarora O.
29:10.0 charukaarora Really.
29:10.3 Juliana Laury Fresh for you. This is still such a new occurrence and I think there’s such emotional health that I see in you and a lot of awareness of the repercussions of this event and a lot of people don’t come to those kinds of conclusions for years if at all.
29:29.4 charukaarora you know thank you I just think I think it’s it’s it’s a process. It’s 2 steps forward 10 steps backward and steps forward boy 2 steps but every day but you know how I also see this as something.
29:29.9 Juliana Laury So I really respect that about you know.
29:47.7 charukaarora Um, as when we’re also saying is something is hard. Um this um okay I lost myself.
30:01.7 Juliana Laury Well I was just thinking like how is our experience art like I’m thinking about that too because like you and I are having this very unscripted conversation and I think it’s fun but also challenging for us both because we’re sort of thinking a little bit about what this all of this means. But yeah to tie it back around. I Just said life is art right? I mean how is your grief experience art. How is your new life. How is that manifesting in your art every time that you sit down in your studio and you just told me that you are different. You know how does that come out. Yeah.
30:21.1 charukaarora Um.
30:31.2 charukaarora Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know that’s that’s exactly you just mentioned a few out like in the beginning that your word your spoken word is art honestly. Never felt that way and even while now we’re talking about this. Um I have had such a severe hard time after my mom when it came to making any form of physical while I really had a very hard time I just. When I think that you lose a sense of who you are you lose a sense of purpose. It’s very hard to find yourself out again and pick yourself why on in the contrast. Even though my forecast. A lot about meeting your peoples um having these conversations and of course you more a lot of like solos also. But honestly I haven’t been doing a lot of solos right now because I just feel like this is what really I feel like I’m there yet. But. Every conversation that I’ve had on this podcast since my mom’s son this in itself has become my own process of um, bringing what has happened into my life into the kind of work I always see my practice is divided into 2 ways. 1 is the work that I make and 1 is what I do at ask 2 hearts. This is my practice of artist and that is my practice of art my practice of art I was never able I I haven’t been able to translate um what I feel or what I have gone through into that. But with the podcast every time I’ve had this conversation even if I look back to a few episodes last last and 2012 episodes ever since I this happened I feel like I have started. You know when you’re saying that I am seeing those things I think it was a process. It was. Ah, process in its own every time. Ah we would in a conversation that would come up and I would share something about and then with every conversation. Um, it has become a thing of its own.
32:50.5 Juliana Laury Yeah I Just that again like the spoken word is just so powerful.
32:54.1 charukaarora Yeah, okay, let’s also talk a little bit. Sorry let me just let this 1 out. Yeah, go.
33:03.6 Juliana Laury Oh your dog but that’s so funny.
33:20.2 charukaarora Back. Okay, let’s let’s talk about something that I know really bothers you. That’s something that you have been very woke about and I’m sure there are 2 parts to it I think last year was a 2009 when I think you were not there mostly for 2020 or was it 21 on social media.
33:43.8 Juliana Laury Yeah, so it was the end of January um I think it was the last week of January of this year twenty twenty 1 so it’s as of recording this were at the beginning of october. So yeah, end of January of this same year of twenty twenty 1 I um.
34:00.6 charukaarora I mean.
34:02.8 Juliana Laury Went off social media I did like a story post really quick like kind of I didn’t say how long I just sort of said like oh um, I remember very vividly I was out in the field with my kids. There was like a big There was a big open field out back behind us and I was. Chasing the birds with my kids and it was like winter time it was January and I was like in the middle of ah in the really the the toughest part of my first depression and I was chasing the birds and I remember the video was like me chasing the birds and I just said I’m gonna. Be away from social media for a while I’m just spending time you know like chasing the birds with my kids or whatever and I yeah it was really vague right? I didn’t say oh I’ll be doing a thirty day detox I’m gonna be.
34:41.0 charukaarora I Remember my God I remember that.
34:53.9 Juliana Laury Whatever I’ll be back or whatever I didn’t say anything and I didn’t in my head I didn’t myself an end time I just thought okay I’m really not doing Well I’m doing very poorly actually and I need to pull a very big plug in my life and that’s.
34:56.7 charukaarora Know you like that.
35:11.1 Juliana Laury The words of others is ironically that we were just talking about words as healing they can words can also be very um detrimental in a lot of ways too and I needed to take everybody else’s words out of my mind and out of my um. Daily experience and I had to just focus on me what was going on in my head and my kids so I knew I needed to pull the plug on social media as just a starting point that was really just a starting point for me and I’ve been.
35:40.3 charukaarora Yeah.
35:45.3 Juliana Laury Ah, pretty much what happened was the longer I was away the less I wanted to come back. So so gate away right? like that I was like want go back. So I’m not going to and um I did a lot of really deep deep deep work.
35:50.2 charukaarora Yeah, yeah.
36:04.7 Juliana Laury And um, and by that I mean I I sort of went into myself in a way I never had before and I did a lot of a lot of searching you know for for healing.
36:12.6 charukaarora Will.
36:24.5 Juliana Laury And I really and I haven’t I haven’t really come up with threats a good way to talk about this yet. So please excuse my bumbling a little bit but I went I went through a big phase of anger and I and I that’s what I’m saying is I don’t I’m working on writing on.
36:34.8 charukaarora Will ask me.
36:44.0 Juliana Laury On how to say this in a way that doesn’t show anger right? because I don’t want to be an angry ah person. But I went through and I did a lot of journaling about ah a lot of very dark and not very nice feelings about.
37:01.9 charukaarora Yeah, and.
37:03.7 Juliana Laury Social media about what it’s done and there were many times that I wrote social media posts in my phone and I have ah in my phone I have the folders I use the folders under the notes section and I have like something like forty different folders in there and they really help me in 1 of the folders. It’s called social media posts and.
37:21.0 charukaarora Okay.
37:22.6 Juliana Laury I would go in there and I would write something and I would think okay I’m just gonna write this out and see if I’m gonna post it I wrote it in my note and and I’d say Okay, you have to give yourself a day reread it and see if you want to post it and then I reread it the next day and be like Wow That’s not who I am I’m not gonna post that.
37:27.4 charukaarora Yeah. Yeah, why.
37:40.8 Juliana Laury And then it would happen again and it would happen again. I would keep writing these posts that and were posted and it was um, it was like oh like we we really need to work on this because I I don’t want to be a voice of anger towards social media. It’s not It’s not a good look I mean if I’m big huborous about it’s not a good look for anybody to to have and there’s a lot of anger on there anyway, there’s a that’s part of why I’m with it right? like Anger begets anger love begets. Love like all that stuff is true and.
38:02.6 charukaarora Um. Yeah, yeah.
38:19.1 Juliana Laury If I were to go on there and do these very angry posts that I was writing I realized that’s feeding the fire of what I don’t like about it and so what a critical thing for me to do and so I didn’t end up posting and I just stayed away stayed away stayed away.
38:25.8 charukaarora Move? Yeah yes.
38:36.0 Juliana Laury Thought about what I would say didn’t say it thought about what I would say didn’t say it. So is this like it was a many many many month cycle and I found the.
38:45.6 charukaarora Um, no wrong are.
38:48.4 Juliana Laury Phone as a really good outlet and I started to do recordings of myself as the healing process I did recordings of me talking into this microphone that I had found in my basement um years ago I had an idea to do a podcast for photographers that never came through and I had this podcasting microphone. So.
38:57.2 charukaarora No I.
39:04.5 charukaarora Oh.
39:06.6 Juliana Laury I Thought okay you know these these ghosted social media posts are not correct the correct way to get out what I want to say let’s try a mic and I was pleasantly surprised at how speaking to myself in a empty quiet room was just what I needed.
39:23.1 charukaarora Yeah, really yeah I mean.
39:24.1 Juliana Laury It was really a lot better though. My podcast was not originally what it is now you know it started out as a little bit more meditative. It started out more as me speaking to myself. But then as I was writing my book I started using the microphone as sort of the way a reporter would use. Like in the old days. There’s this old image of reporters with those like clip you know Port clip. Yeah yeah, um, yeah I got a portable microphone for pretty cheap and I started um taking it with me and I actually started using it in the research of my novel because I as I said.
39:44.0 charukaarora Yes, yeah, yes, they would record their instances and then make a note of it.
40:03.2 Juliana Laury Writing became my therapy writing became very healing and becoming a writer felt really more and more aligned with who I was but I wanted to write a fiction and I’ve never written a fiction before I’ve never written a book before ever. Um, and so I have.
40:13.3 charukaarora Both yeah.
40:17.9 Juliana Laury Had to like learn how to do that I still am learning how to do that and I just was using the microphone the way reporters sort of um, take audio and then crack and then sit down at the computer and write I was doing that. Yeah, it was a very like Rogue process.
40:23.9 charukaarora Yeah, yeah, you Wow who michael.
40:36.5 Juliana Laury And um, it was just a way of making the writing process a little bit more fun too because I’d never written a book. So um I Still don’t really know what I’m doing So it has this very novice feel to it where it’s like yeah, right exactly like we none of us know what we’re doing.
40:40.8 charukaarora And. Do We any does any of us.
40:55.4 Juliana Laury And there’s a lot of.
40:56.3 charukaarora Ibeli on my Sixieth episode soon. My part going to be like we have the fifthftth episode I still don’t know what I’m doing honest Facebook comment.
41:02.2 Juliana Laury Yes, yeah, well my number is pretty low. So my podcast flow We’ve decided that it’s going to work in a series because it also works better with my personal life if I do a certain number of episodes and then take a break in between seasons. So.
41:11.6 charukaarora Yes, yeah.
41:21.0 Juliana Laury Um, this season that I’m in right now is only 8 8 episodes. It’s 8 eight weeks and so that’s really the case because it’s sort of like a miniseries and people know what miniseries are for netflix and stuff. It’s like miniseries in that way. Um, and so it is sort of like chapter 1 But then.
41:24.1 charukaarora Is slow. Yeah, after is.
41:39.7 Juliana Laury Um, my hope is of course at the end of season. 1 people will be interested enough and want to hear more and then we’ll sort of reconvene and next year and maybe we’ll talk about what season 2 would look like I don’t actually know right now but it it is ah also.
41:44.6 charukaarora Yes.
41:56.7 Juliana Laury I’ll relisten to the episodes and then I’m writing based off of what I’ve what all the episodes that I’m I’m producing so it’s all hand in hand I write ah the story that I’m writing is a past lives story. So I’m going down. Yeah um, I’m going down the rabbit hole of if.
42:09.7 charukaarora A wrong.
42:16.5 Juliana Laury I Believe that we are reincarnated.
42:17.9 charukaarora Oh my good man. Oh my good one last moment now she wants to come back in.
42:23.4 Juliana Laury Ah, oh yeah, yeah yeah, you’re done but no rowl.
42:29.7 charukaarora Um.
42:37.7 charukaarora I Have to be on service. Always oh Wow So you have a book that’s about love past lives you’re writing a book about past lives. Let’s talk a little bit more about that.
42:41.3 Juliana Laury Yes, and you know I hear you.
42:49.9 Juliana Laury Yeah, yeah, yeah, well um, I’m not you know as as with any deep dive you start to sort of think about what is it that you believe and I I’m still in that discovery journey for myself of what it is that I believe. And I have always wanted to write a nonlinear story I love all nonlinear stories everybody sort of who knows me knows that inception is my favorite movie of all time I love the idea of the layers of dreams and. Was thinking about that a little differently like the layers of lives that we could have had and I I did in my deep work I was doing this this winter I was introduced to the concept of oh I might have been somebody else in the past and that’s why I’m feeling this way.
43:43.9 charukaarora I Oh my God I Love that thought I can you say that once more please.
43:44.0 Juliana Laury And it was sort of the first time I was like oh um, that could be yeah sure. Um I was introduced to the idea that we I could have been someone else in a past life and that’s why I am the way I am now
44:02.0 charukaarora Oh my God Honestly, just hearing this and then I haven’t thought about this honestly it makes me feel so much better with everything that I’m feeling right now and I mean that such.
44:12.3 Juliana Laury He went.
44:20.9 charukaarora A goodclamation for those those things that you just can’t sometimes explain.
44:21.2 Juliana Laury Please Yeah, you know. Yeah, it makes you feel that there is validity in your experience and I don’t know I’m being very honest here I don’t know still I don’t really know if I believe in it or not but I’m exploring it in a very. In ah in the way that all creatives explore something that is interesting to us in a playful way. I’m I’m not doing it as this sort of oh I’m gonna go I can’t right I can’t go to a Tibetan mountain and sit and meditate for 3 months I have 3 very little children and.
44:46.0 charukaarora Yes.
44:58.1 charukaarora Yeah.
45:02.6 Juliana Laury A lot of the work that I do needs to be compartmentalized and I can’t just up and leave and so for me to write this book is also to sort of is to sort of answer a lot of questions that I didn’t really know that I had.
45:05.3 charukaarora Yeah, yeah, and.
45:20.8 charukaarora And you know what as creators or someone who’s always interested I’m always interested in more I’m always interested in something. Especially honestly I’m interested in something that that really feel hard I don’t know why that’s something that scares me something that makes me feel challenged.
45:22.2 Juliana Laury Um.
45:40.5 charukaarora Because it shakes me Up. It’s really literally um because I know once once I ask these questions for once I set up myself. Um for something like this. There is no doubt I’m going to come out as a as a different person this that. Inspires me because I know that at the end of this tunnel is someone a part of me that I still don’t know. However, good or bad that could be but I think as Creative. It’s Also it’s always it’s I think it’s It’s never about answers. It’s never about solutions.
46:05.4 Juliana Laury Yeah.
46:19.0 charukaarora And artists. Especially as as I feel like as designers. We’re always taught about oh um, problem solving and all of those things but as artists as storytellers for me at least I think it’s more about the questions.
46:34.2 Juliana Laury Yeah, yeah I had I had once heard something about that like what you were saying I had once heard somebody say that there are no answers but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t search for them.
46:37.3 charukaarora More about? yeah yeah.
46:48.2 charukaarora Yeah, it’s like a constant so it’s like constantly even if there’s there’s something I feel strongly about I still feel I have I need to keep questioning it keep digging the ground keep asking if. And I think that’s why we are always in this exploratory mode where um, we we want to I think this this desire to know more this desire to buy with desire to that if it if it’s this then why. It’s not this then why and the what is okay, let’s okay, let’s go to go forwards when you said that you’re going on a break I think you are 1 person I know will literally went on the biggest fake so far.
47:27.6 Juliana Laury Yeah, yeah I Love that.
47:44.9 charukaarora You’ve written like I has seen so many people who would say um, they’re going on a social media I now honestly I stop that because I feel like social media is it’s like a love and hate relationship honestly I just I see and I quite quite a bit relate to what you say when you’re saying like. You write something and then you look back to it and you feel like oh that’s not you and I can relate to that 1 hundred percent and I think the psychology behind it is that Someday I’m just too tired I don’t have a content plan for myself or with what my own practice. 2 hearts of course is a very different game. It. It’s a community. It’s a platform. There’s so much that you put in advance as so much others work and everything else, but with my own personal practice. It’s it’s not and Someday I just don’t want to write anything someday I have something that I really want to write some days I don’t.
48:41.4 Juliana Laury But my my challenge I hate to sort of interject here. But this is where like I get really emotional about this topic and I again I try to like keep sort of the anger down but like why right? my question to you is like you’re just talking about why? like.
48:44.1 charukaarora But this is.
48:52.3 charukaarora If hip.
48:56.7 Juliana Laury Why do you have to have a plan. Why do you have to post every week who who is telling you this like what what story have you told yourself to get yourself in a cycle where you feel pressured by an invisible force.
48:58.5 charukaarora Absolutely absolutely ask point please.
49:13.3 charukaarora Do you know what? you know when you say this you know what is the ah what I feel is the root part cause is you know when you grow up as a let’s say this I’m just going to again set up. Another example. Why I feel it is this way you know how that’s let’s say a neglected child. Okay, and who who has never quatting the attention right? and. People say oh if you be a good boy if you be a good girl. Your parents are going to love you. People are going to class where you people will enjoy you and because everyone wants to be seen. Everyone wants to also because they’re taught if you’re seen if people are you know you know, kind of like that. Quite see the same thing here. Let’s say people people like I’m going to put myself in that. Let’s say when I started my I had I live in a part of the world I have no no immediate community when I started making art I was like okay before making art I wasn’t on social media so much to be very on it I Never I mean I would pause. Once a year or something like that. But when I had a purpose when I had a purpose to use a platform something like that I felt I was that child who felt neglected or from the industry from what artists were expectations and everything all of those things and then I was like oh then. this is this is how I would get attention and to get attention. This is you know I have to be a good girl and what does a good girl mean that I post every day what does a good girl mean that I have to have long captions. What does a good good girl. Good good girl. Do ah to please everyone.
51:04.5 Juliana Laury So but what I hear from that like on my end of this too because I analyze everything is like a deeper. This is all a deeper I Love that you said the good boy Good girl thing I I think that was a lovely analogy especially because I have a child who my eldest child wants to be a good boy. He’s very.
51:04.6 charukaarora You know, the honestly.
51:23.3 Juliana Laury Um, he does not like to be scolded. He really wants to he wants that affirmation. But here’s what I have to say about that affirmation can become an addiction and to me that is what social media has become.
51:31.3 charukaarora Yeah.
51:36.3 Juliana Laury It is affirmation addiction and we talk about screen addiction. Yes, but I think that a lot of people like almost don’t even hear that phrase. It’s affirmation. What is what is the thing that we’re looking for. We’re looking for the dopamine level that hits our brain when we get a like a comment anybody that cares, anybody that says ooh I like what you’re doing.
51:48.4 charukaarora Hearing.
51:55.3 Juliana Laury You’re addicted to affirmation.
51:56.0 charukaarora Yeah,, that’s True. We are. It’s you know I Always again hundred percent unfiltered and honest thought I would always see a lowest artist that I follow or otherwise people who are um who are just. Maybe I know read or whatever a lot of them are very successful, um, doing Wellin Whatever they’re doing and they’re not on social media. Let’s say and I would always question myself and I was like how do they.
52:27.4 Juliana Laury And.
52:33.2 charukaarora Why are they not there. Why are they not? um, okay.
52:34.3 Juliana Laury Ah, but I feel like I’m more successful being off of it because I have the time like so then that’s my comment about people who aren’t on social media and you think oh my gosh. How can they be successful without social media because they have hours of their life that they’ve done.
52:47.4 charukaarora Because they are and they have I mean Success has nothing to do with social media. It is not so related.
52:52.0 Juliana Laury You know I Mean. No, it doesn’t And in fact, no, no and I feel like people will say to me. Oh I Can’t believe you did this podcast while raising your kids while writing a book while dealing with your depression. While managing all the relationships that you manage and I do have like a good amount of friendships that I am very regular about maintaining like I can’t believe you did all that and it’s like yeah but I don’t have social media so because I don’t have that on my plate I was given back time that was sucked away from me and once I took it off my plate.
53:20.9 charukaarora Yeah, yeah.
53:30.1 Juliana Laury Really did realize Wow My goodness I do have time I have time to read books that was a big thing for me when I was depressed was I was scrolling before bed on you know, people’s on people’s feeds and stuff and I replaced the scroll with reading books and that was truly revolutionary to me, especially because I was in such a dark place.
53:42.7 charukaarora Well.
53:49.5 Juliana Laury Me to switch the phone for a physical book was like healing in a way that I really can only say like if you’ve done it before you would understand because you you are so much more at peace to sit and read a book of 1 person’s words than to digest four hundred people’s words you know it’s just to.
53:51.9 charukaarora Yeah. Yeah.
54:06.4 charukaarora Yeah, yeah.
54:09.4 Juliana Laury We’re not meant we’re not men as human beings to know that many people experiences at once we’re just not. We’re not programmed that way and our animal brain is overwhelmed by that. Oh.
54:11.3 charukaarora Yeah, no, and. I I agree and um it is I just wish if we had an answer and honesty. Um, okay, so when we report recording this episode I don’t know if that something that you really you know about it or not. But today’s fifth for october. Yeah in India and Yesterday in I think this must have been the the longest blackout on the internet for Facebook what’s happened Instagram you know about this? Oh my mom.
54:51.2 Juliana Laury No I don’t know about this because I don’t know a lot of things going on so please go in actually I want to know about it.
54:57.9 charukaarora So yeah, so what’s had happened is Yesterday about 7 p m I’m going to talk about I 3 so let’s say 7 p m which is about nine 30 um nine 30 p m. Yes, or nine am usp um I I had 3 we just launched Yesterday was meant to be a launch for a new open call and art to have and I had everything ready and I was like. Really I’m very like planned in what I do and I did not have my I was on a site I had to go visit something and I had to make sure that this post was out by nine thirty and I’m constantly like opening every app I’m trying to use whatsapp. All of these things and I’m like oh my god what where am I right now my work is and I’m like you know, give me I ask someone’s hot spot. All of those things and I came back home. It took me an hour I came back home and I came to news and I someone told me that the. Facebook whatsapp instagram is down since the past 2 outputs that was 7 evening Instagram was not up Instagram whatsapp um, and Facebook nothing was it was down for almost of 12.
56:34.4 Juliana Laury Oh my I didn’t know about this.
56:34.7 charukaarora 1215 hours that is a lot of oh my god I had to receive so many emails from many messages will we were just takinging on in with each other and I it did feel quite overwhelming for someone. Let’s say just coincidentally I had a release. A ro call launched for open call yesterday and I know so many other people who had someone had some something else and everything and suddenly it felt um, it felt like oh my god this is like ah this this moment and I felt like the next thing I was like okay. I don’t I don’t know if I this is what if this is not coming back. What if Instagram is not coming back. What if nothing’s coming back what next and I received an email from I don’t know I don’t know if you know carra always and I really like what she said? Um, honestly I was a little relieved because I have a podcast. Have a platform I have an email list. Um, and I have relationships honestly what I really love about my social media I don’t care about the posting the numbers and anything I care about the friends that I’ve made I met you via social media I’ve met ninety nine percent of my guests. On this podcast via social media and I stayed in touch with them I have had such amazing conversations and that’s something I truly truly tell it and that is my takeaway from what it is and once they’re off that I know that I can find you back.
58:05.3 Juliana Laury Yeah.
58:07.4 charukaarora On the podcast or whatever way. But I can still continue that relationship because that’s what it means to me and that made me feel like some way it made me feel aligned with what I wanted I don’t want to have a million um, whatever number that would be and then 1 day if Instagram is gone I’m like. My god who who do I talk to.
58:26.2 Juliana Laury Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Wow How powerful. So what? sorry story but is it back. Is it back on and and what was the story behind how like was it a fluke thing.
58:32.1 charukaarora Yes, video was regularly. Yeah, yeah, it’s back gone. It’s Back. My. I honestly don’t have a lot of clarity on that. Um, apparently and this was worldwide so a lot of times this blackout has happened this has happened on maybe like country level or like all of those things or app level. This was like a complete shutdown.
58:45.3 Juliana Laury Do you know.
59:03.3 charukaarora Nothing was working for hours so in India whereas a few people said the things were working. Let’s say six hours seven hours later in India it is not it came up to like it shut down at 7 p m and I was awake till 3 thirty last night it wasn’t up. It came up in the morning maybe 5 But I will it was quite a quite and honestly I did not miss it apart from the fact that honestly I’ll tell it 2 thing apart from the fact that I had to launch something for my platform I had already scheduled my email and newsletter so I was I was like if it’s not up for another day. Ah, newsletter is still going to go out. My podcast is also a tool I use to launch my platform like anything that we do I was like okay if Instagram’s not going to be there. My podcast is still there and there’s listeners who listen to our episode today. So we’ll get the information and I was like. My personal fact is I am so relieved because now I’m not in this double thought oh my god I have to put something I don’t have to base the platform. It’s not there I don’t have to force anything.
01:00:08.9 Juliana Laury Yeah, yeah, I’m curious I wish I could do like a survey of how people felt I’m sure there was a lot of anxiety I’m sure there I mean I’m sure it was all over the map. Um I mean I.
01:00:15.7 charukaarora For my eye.
01:00:22.2 Juliana Laury I didn’t know about that because I’m not on it so it didn’t affect me right? Um, and so I think that’s really fascinating though because it does whenever you lose something even for a short amount of time like um, you know, sort sort of like the 12 hour blackout thing was not. You didn’t know how long it was.
01:00:24.1 charukaarora E.
01:00:41.2 Juliana Laury It does make you think about how much time you spend on that thing. Um, and if you don’t spend any time on that thing then you don’t notice that it’s gone. But if you spend a lot of time on it then of course you’re going to Notice. Um And. I Hope that it made people reevaluate How much time they spend on it and they were I think it causes. Of course it causes worldwide anxiety to be on it or to not be on. It is. There’s a anxiety either way I’m sure there was a huge burst.
01:01:03.3 charukaarora Yeah I mean.
01:01:17.4 Juliana Laury In anxiety in people where they couldn’t have their pacifier because essentially that’s what it’s become. It’s become a pacifier for loneliness. It’s become a pacifier for not sitting with yourself and not being able to process your you are I think in a lot of ways I don’t know if that’s necessary.
01:01:18.2 charukaarora Yeah.
01:01:30.6 charukaarora Um, that’s ah no I think that’s quite a bit true but I always like honestly it’s like a I honestly see again I come from a place where.
01:01:37.0 Juliana Laury But I think it.
01:01:50.6 charukaarora We also have given a lot to social media. But I at least come from a place that I know is given me a lot I come from a part of the world where I never I Still don’t feel desonated with I don’t have access to creative people I don’t have access to strong women.
01:01:55.3 Juliana Laury Yeah, of course.
01:02:08.4 charukaarora So much. Of course there are strong women with the creative women that I I want to feel connected to that I feel connected to that I feel I can have a conversation like like now I am having across the screen right now with you.
01:02:20.2 Juliana Laury But my question is like could you have that conversation with like the old lady down the street I mean is it possible. You might not think it is but if if you don’t have if let’s say there was like a social media blackout for like a month let’s just pretend that like you couldn’t be on social media for a month I mean you are. Gonna take the lessons that you’ve learned about making new friends on social Media. You’ve essentially introduced yourself to new people all the time I mean you could take that gift that you’ve been given that talent of introducing yourself to new people. You can take that to your own backyard and my hope is you would be. A little bit more open to seeing that there are interesting people around you if you give them the time of day I mean I would love to like homeless person. But.
01:03:04.5 charukaarora Absolutely absolutely. But but um, in reverse I wasn’t let’s say I So This is my counter to this which is what I’m saying is I Absolutely agree to this because sometimes when we look for something we don’t. What what we don’t know about we only look for something we already know about and that’s something actually has happened with me when it came to source media I wasn’t active on social media at all at least till 2019 or something I started being a little regular.
01:03:25.3 Juliana Laury Yeah.
01:03:43.6 charukaarora Thousand and nineteen and I would like you know and I’ll tell you why that was because I was so lonely I was so lonely I was in such a toxic place that every day I would feel so bad so depressed. So so exhausted I had. I had been in a career of war I have been in the creative phase for certain 17 years now and I never felt connected I never felt supported. Um I’m living in a part of world where maybe um, what I think I am may not have been. Like is not a norm is’s not common and I was like you know I mean I’d rather be alone and I’d always been alone by that time and I was like okay if and this is also an act of self engagementment and I thought okay maybe like most of us I would at that point. Instagram was just like a journal platform and you would just come like post something for yourself and I started posting a few of my I at that point I think I was doing these little drawings and all of those and I would just post them because it made me feel like oh I’m putting it I’m putting something out there. Think in the last few years is when I realized that I found something I never thought I would have friends all over the world that I would speak to on a podcast I never thought about that I did not have slightest clue that I would start a podcast for creative artists create women artists. And I would have these conversations with that. Um I wouldn’t think are otherwise were possible because um and I would feel supported. This was an accident a beautiful accident that happened I wasn’t looking for it. So I am grateful for it because otherwise. I don’t know how long I would how many more years I would feel the same amount of um, talk sickness comfort and another thing. Um you know I another I am in again in a part of world. But I feel and all of us for that Matter. It’s just not that I am um it opened my mind. Let’s say of course unless I don’t really go physically, it’s going to even post that envelope further but the moment I started finding people I I started having these conversations these meaningful conversations. But people and that is why I actually started this podcast my entire my sole purpose of doing this podcast was to have these conversations to feel connected then just of following 1 number or something and I remember that um.
01:06:32.1 charukaarora But I been into it I started I started finding these people I started feeling more connected and um, it made me believe that I I don’t have to always rely on things that are reallymeliate to me Because. I had been doing that for a very long time and um I never found that what it opened for me was if I I am not surrounded by people that I feel aligned with I am always I have a tool. And I can always go out and find someone so that’s that’s what I hope.
01:07:06.7 Juliana Laury Yeah, yeah I like that I mean I Guess what you mean like social media as a tool and I I am happy to like continue these kinds of conversations where yes what you’re saying is social media was expedited your healing I really liked what you said where you’re. You felt that if you hadn’t found this platform in this the community that you had here. You might still be Depressed. You might still be in that really dark Place. You might still more right? But I’m saying that but like the platform was a tool to getting that community right.
01:07:32.3 charukaarora Not the platform. Um, but the community let’s say it’s the people. Yeah.
01:07:42.9 Juliana Laury Without that tool essentially without a wrench. You can’t you know, get that like you know what? I mean you can’t you can’t turn the wheel so you still needed the tool in order to expedite what you feel is like your healing and I’m not here to say that social media is all bad and I don’t want to say.
01:07:49.4 charukaarora Yeah.
01:07:58.1 charukaarora Yeah.
01:08:02.6 Juliana Laury That it’s only done bad things. It’s gotten. It’s it’s done wonderful things and and a lot of money has been raised for good causes. Yeah in that platform. So um, but I think I think it’s like anything else right? Yeah so.
01:08:09.5 charukaarora Yeah, but it is it but it is taking over our lives. It’s taken over a time. She’s taking ah a little thing.
01:08:20.8 Juliana Laury It’s like anything else where it’s like too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing anymore right? like let’s just so any addiction is always is always going to be bad because it’s too much. So let’s let’s insert alcohol for social media. Okay I love having some drinks I Love going out I Love having.
01:08:22.2 charukaarora Um, yeah, yeah.
01:08:32.6 charukaarora Yeah.
01:08:38.4 Juliana Laury A party and having a good time and having having a few drinks but if I was drinking every single night if I became an alcoholic. Obviously then that’s a good thing that’s too much of a good thing is now a bad thing and I’m just saying the same thing about social media right? like.
01:08:50.0 charukaarora Yes, absolutely I Believe yeah that is that is and I think it’s also the intent I think for me.
01:08:54.2 Juliana Laury Ah, saying it is a bad thing but I am saying that too much of it is a bad thing.
01:09:08.3 charukaarora If you ask me what social media is Instagram I don’t really like Facebook anymore honestly, even whatsapp is only work or communication otherwise but with with Instagram every time I go on to Instagram I want to make sure that I’m speaking to someone that I love that I’m more interested in and.
01:09:24.7 Juliana Laury I love.
01:09:28.3 charukaarora Not on the platform but away from the platform and I think that’s what has been my take career case for now I I find most of my people on this podcast that I actually build relationships with is via this podcast or I make friends that I speak.
01:09:33.5 Juliana Laury Yeah.
01:09:46.6 charukaarora Now on phone or a video call or a facetime I think it’s also do I want to drink because I I don’t know I How do I Even say this device. What is my intent of doing this just do I Want to have a casual drink. Because I want to have some fun or maybe just enjoy or do I Ah do I want to drink because my but I am addicted and I cannot function without it. So yeah.
01:10:14.7 Juliana Laury Right? right? Is it a band-aid for a deeper issue or is it lubrication for something that is not a deeper issue you know and that’s that’s with any anything I personally believe we grow out of all platforms and I think it’s funny that you say you don’t like Facebook anymore because.
01:10:25.9 charukaarora You. Yeah, anything.
01:10:34.5 Juliana Laury I think more and more people aren’t liking Facebook the issue is Facebook owns Instagram so people will be like oh I don’t like Facebook but Facebook owns Instagram I agree Instagram is a more improved platform but think about like myspace think about blogging I mean we grew out of that but those same people were saying the same things they were.
01:10:38.8 charukaarora Yes, mode.
01:10:47.9 charukaarora Yeah, and. Yeah.
01:10:54.1 Juliana Laury I have friends on here I’m creating community on here I think and all those things are dead now I mean they’re just who is on my space but I I Just really think that we’re gonna it is gonna change I’m very optimistic I’m an optimist. Um, so I think people do.
01:10:58.4 charukaarora Um, yeah, yeah, ah absolute I don’t look to me I see I Still love blogging I feel like it is 1 thing that I feel will be.. It can never go out Because. Think about blog is that it is driven by you. It’s yours you define the but nobody else you decide if you want to make it something that’s driven by numbers that is your call but if it is if you want this to be something that is driven by intent purpose.
01:11:22.5 Juliana Laury Yes, your words right? right.
01:11:38.2 charukaarora Connection relationship that is again your cause I I think the more we’re getting into this mass culture the more we’re realizing that it does not matter the millions that we’ll have we have in sense of the number that it shows. What matters is the the handful that we have that we will. We can have a conversation with even if I I have let’s say if I have a million today I’m sitting in. Let’s say in a part of the world that I don’t have an access to a lot of creatives I am with a million creatives on instagram instagram. If and Instagram goes away and if I don’t have even 1 meaningful connection out of those million I have nothing yes and if I have hundred people. But I if even if I have.
01:12:25.9 Juliana Laury You have nothing, you’re left with yeah yeah, cool.
01:12:36.9 charukaarora And you know with hundred people that means you have way more meaningful connect you can have him have me more meaningful connections if you’re willing to um and even if Instagram goes away you still know that you have something something that you like.
01:12:52.2 Juliana Laury It’s the it’s It’s always coming back to the same thing because this is marketing. It’s quality over quantity and that’s always I mean for anything you do in life. You should always be thinking about quality over quantity.
01:12:59.5 charukaarora Yeah.
01:13:09.3 Juliana Laury And any decision you know I mean quality of relationships quality of self quality of life is is it more important to you to make a million dollars or is it more important to you to have half.
01:13:11.8 charukaarora Move.
01:13:28.0 Juliana Laury That or less and have actual meaningful time with your family. You know people talk about money as a big 1 It’s just an easy analogy. You can be a millionaire and kill yourself how many times have we seen it. You can be famous.
01:13:41.6 charukaarora Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:13:47.1 Juliana Laury And be suicidal. It’s just as a tale as old as time money is not happiness and I think that is ah that narrative that we’re talking about more same thing if I see somebody that has a million followers on Instagram I do not assume that person is happy I don’t make the assumption.
01:13:58.8 charukaarora Yeah.
01:14:05.2 charukaarora Yet absolutely or successful the success on the numbers that we see and the obsession with the numbers that’s been growing over the years so
01:14:06.4 Juliana Laury That they have everything.
01:14:15.1 Juliana Laury Well because success is personal. Your your view is of success is different than my view of success. So that that’s the whole point of this conversation just to kind of like bring it back around like my view of success I don’t really care if 10 people or.
01:14:20.8 charukaarora Yes, yes.
01:14:33.9 Juliana Laury Ten thousand people listen to my podcast I do really care that the 10 people who do listen to it are deeply touched by it and I’m happy with whatever that number is and again like you have to make the work for the love of doing it. You have to make the work because you love it not because you’re relying on an outcome.
01:14:41.2 charukaarora Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:14:52.6 Juliana Laury Um, because the outcome is not guaranteed but your happiness is something you can control how you feel about your success.
01:14:57.9 charukaarora Ah, absolutely I think you know at least I can talk for myself. What feels what really drives me is my purpose more than anything else. Let’s see even for this podcast like you said for you. It meant that you wanted to document the writing of your book Honestly for me this was a way for me to feel connected to other artists to to feel more belonged ah to feel more connected and to learn because for me.
01:15:30.2 Juliana Laury Um, yeah, um.
01:15:36.3 charukaarora It is it is essential to have these conversations and I did not have access to um these ah people around me so I felt like I need to pick up a practice like any other practice that I do I need to have a practice that I am. Making an effort and a purpose that my purpose is to every week every month at least speak to 3 other creative women who have something to share with me and the people who are alongside or if there’s something that I feel I have to share. Of course this is an ideal case with this purpose that I feel like and I think this everyone all of us have our own purposes then and when it comes to anything that we’re doing and that makes us feel a little less um driven by nothing. And the outcome than the process in itself like if I’m speaking to I am going to have a very a very a very peaceful sleep today because I feel like I have had a wonderful conversation with you and that’s it if I don’t record a few episodes in a month I feel like I haven’t met my friends. That’s what it means to me.
01:16:52.5 Juliana Laury Yeah, oh I love that. Well thank you that means a lot to me I’m giving you peaceful sleep tonight. Ah.
01:16:57.3 charukaarora Um, ah you are you absolute you are giving me a peaceful sleep. You’re giving me a wonderful conversation and in this noisy world that we are in I feel like I have 1 real person that I spoken to 1 real person I connected to because. You know we can always. We’ve been talking on the m Instagram we also live with art exchange which still felt very real because we sent each other a part of us but now to speak to you be a part of this conversation to know what you feel to share what I feel this this is.
01:17:24.6 Juliana Laury Yeah.
01:17:35.5 Juliana Laury And it’s deeper than what you could get on social media. So you’re using social media as a launching pad for finding the person who you want to have a longer conversation with because yeah I mean you and I could never have gone to the depths of conversation that we have just gone to.
01:17:36.1 charukaarora This is a greet thing to me. Okay.
01:17:54.3 Juliana Laury Via anything on a phone and we would have to look at each other face to face the way we have the way we’re looking at 1 another and we’re hearing 1 another’s voices and we’re having um, not a typed out conversation but a spoken conversation spoken word conversation. Yeah.
01:17:56.3 charukaarora Do that.
01:18:07.0 charukaarora Yeah, and and what is the best part is we we 2 are talking about something but at this moment when we publish this episode there is still someone who may not have access to a lot of things that we do and. Are still a part of this Conversation. We’re still Learning. You’re still experiencing a lot of that we are speaking about because you know here’s what I I So many times I feel so limited so limited with what where I am let’s sit to graphically in terms of opportunities and. In terms of all of these things and um, when I started listening to podcast and started reading more books about it start meeting more people online I felt like I went this went into this this little hole somewhere that was there but I never saw it.
01:19:02.0 Juliana Laury Yeah.
01:19:03.9 charukaarora And once I’m into this There’s this another new world that I’ve entered and I feel I feel more belonged I came from another world that I’m born in but now I’m into another world and I feel more belongs because um because I wanted all of these things if there were not people who would have those podcasts. Um. The people who would not have these conversations I would have never had the courage to stop on myself to have you here to share myself. It’s it is again. It is the purpose. It is a selfish purpose but in the longer run it is also the impact that I feel like even if 1 so like you said if 10 people come and even if those 10 people feel connected if your purpose is done. You feel happy about for me I feel like if even if there’s 1 person out of hundred who feels unsupported and. If that person all lonely and if that person listens to my podcast and feel supported or gets answers that we’re looking for my work is done because I know what it feels I know what it feels to not. Not if you I have always had this deep desire to have this conversation but I never had the place to have them I was like you know, let me do that for myself.
01:20:24.1 Juliana Laury Yeah, well your solution came from empathy the solution that you came up with with doing this podcast came from an understanding and I think that’s how we help each other. That’s how the world gets to be a better place online or offline is.
01:20:37.0 charukaarora Yeah, yeah.
01:20:40.5 Juliana Laury Is just having us all suffer a little bit and then showing up for 1 another and I can understand what it means to hurt you know.
01:20:46.8 charukaarora Yeah, oh my god you know what? it’s been 1 hour twenty one minutes that now just ah I had a feeling this was going to go longer. But you know this is my so far the most favorite of.
01:20:53.6 Juliana Laury I know I know.
01:21:06.3 charukaarora This is my oh I feel I just I felt like I went into this this flow in between our colonization that I I haven’t had in a very long time and.
01:21:16.8 Juliana Laury Good I am so happy that I could give that to you because that’s a really special feeling.
01:21:23.5 charukaarora Thanks to you because it’s it’s something that I’ve you know I’ve started this mean new practice that I I didn’t have before which was so now when I go into my I just moved into my new studio and I have my mom’s photograph a little. Ah, place for pray I’m saying I’m I’m not someone who really believes in god but I think that’s really changed for me after my mom’s passing because for me now my god has has changed its shape and place. So I start recently started having this. Um. Like a little prayer in the morning which is like you know today I want to be a god your mom can you? you know here today in the studio can I have like a more creative flow I’ve never had a creative flow in a very like I’ve not had a creative flowing so many months I don’t feel creative I feel. Loss and like can I have with the that few and I feel like to be ah I was listening.
01:22:26.2 Juliana Laury Oh that was such a special story and that that felt oh my goodness. Thank you so much that felt really really lovely.
01:22:33.7 charukaarora Thanks, Da and I really hope anyone else who is who is listening to this episode right now guys. Um, we’ve we’ve spoken about a lot of things I don’t know if it might have been interestinging to someone on and. If it was I Really suggest you to maybe listen to another episode or you can completely skip this plan but you’ve come to this pass I’m sure that you have enjoyed this conversation but um I just feel like this was something that really. Um, in itself is needed.
01:23:10.2 Juliana Laury Thank you? Yeah well I’m happy that that we could sort of give 1 another this ah mental retreat that happened in the middle of our day today.
01:23:22.6 charukaarora Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, so now because totally unplanned and that’s that’s what I I have started getting into the flow and I started recording the podcast I would plan a little bit and you know, um. I thought oh my god I will have this like this particular v my podcast would like you know, be like um and I went quite a bit into it I think first 55 episodes went into it and I felt like now I feel like you know what? I don’t want my questions to be quite similar I don’t want to have a fix. Ah, every every person is a unique person I can’t get into I don’t know what their bio is going to say and that’s not going to define everything about them when they will actually speak is when I will know about them and for me as a creative. My creative practice is not researching them. Um. Writing those questions my creative practice is actually what I absolutely love as as a podcaster is to have this instant intuitive in the moment conversation those those things that I am interested interested I’m I’m I can only ask those questions because I’m truly interested in.
01:24:36.0 Juliana Laury Well and you’re truly paying attention So that’s what makes you a good interviewer is to just pay attention and you’re really listening to what I have to say instead of looking at your list of things to say next you’re actually involved and participating in what I’m saying to you.
01:24:38.0 charukaarora And that is fuck my clock.
01:24:54.6 charukaarora Um, ah thank you? Thank you so much. Okay, now now now I think let’s we will have to do a couple more episodes with you now I really think touch happening I am going to I’m going to bring you once a month now
01:24:54.9 Juliana Laury So that just makes it better for everybody. Yeah.
01:25:04.9 Juliana Laury Okay, yeah, sure. Okay, well listen I’m happy to I’m happy to chat whenever you want I’m happy.
01:25:14.3 charukaarora Want every 2 months and once you have I will do like a book once you have when okay when are you thinking of launching the book is it anywhere done like um.
01:25:23.0 Juliana Laury Oh yeah, not for years. It I’ll probably have gray hair when it happens now it’s and my book is so in early school I always sort of say it’s kind of nice that I’m starting it out before my kids are in school like full time because I like I said I have a a 3 year old a 2 year old and a 1 year old so for any parents out there. They know that like my kids are not obviously at school all the time so when my youngest is 5 so 4 years from now. Um I’m like okay that would be a good time to do like a book tour. But.
01:25:42.9 charukaarora On my going.
01:25:55.4 charukaarora Um.
01:25:57.8 Juliana Laury I’m not saying I don’t yeah I’m just enjoying the process I don’t know how long it’ll take me to write the book I’m just enjoying it and I think part part of why I Love the podcast is it’s allowing me to write the book slowly but also share that that story real time which is really cool.
01:26:09.2 charukaarora Yeah, and yeah, that’s great I can’t I can’t wait to be in the studio so that I can finally tune in like I feel like being a podcaster myself. It’s been so many weeks I haven’t felt that connection. And I usually feel being in the studio and listening to a podcast I think it’s It’s 1 of the best feelings. Best Feelings. So.
01:26:32.4 Juliana Laury Yeah I highly recommend the first episode. It’s made a few people cry so far. So if you want to get and you want to have a really nice emotional experience I’d say listen to the first episode the prologue and yeah, yeah.
01:26:38.0 charukaarora Oh my god.
01:26:47.0 charukaarora I’m missing all I’m going all a hundred percent. Okay I of course I know I will love it. But I’ll let you know for sure. Okay.
01:26:51.9 Juliana Laury Good good. Well I’m excited to hear what you think.
01:26:59.3 Juliana Laury Awesome! Awesome killing.
01:27:03.9 charukaarora Before I let you go I am I Again, want to say this is a very very special episode I Truly mean that from the bottom of my heart because it’s not an episode I don’t know what this is I Really don’t know what this is me.
01:27:16.2 Juliana Laury To go art form right? What do we say? it’s a piece of art. It’s our it’s our word is our spoken word is art.
01:27:23.1 charukaarora Yeah, yes, it is okay before I let you go is that anything Anyway, I know you have the podcast. Ah do you want to share.
01:27:29.9 Juliana Laury You yeah, the podcast is probably yeah, the podcast is definitely my biggest is my newest art baby because like I said I see it at like a performance art piece and it is for me something that is um. Probably the most aligned art form that I’ve ever made that shows what my experience is I know we are talking about like Instagram stories or what I used to use to show how I made the incostic work. The podcast is a way of essentially doing the same thing. It’s sort of like the Instagram story of my writing a book. But.
01:27:59.9 charukaarora Yeah.
01:28:09.4 Juliana Laury Ah, it is. It’s called flow f l o w and if you don’t find it just put my name in so just type in flow and then type in Juliana j u l I a n a laurie is l a u r y so if you type in my name as well in the search bar. You’ll definitely see it.
01:28:13.2 charukaarora Um, yeah.
01:28:28.4 Juliana Laury Um, and it is the audio adventure of me the mom of 3 little kids as my book is coming out of me and coming through me in completely unscripted situations and how I’m sort of like chasing the story and how I’m figuring out what the story is. At the same time that you as the audience are listening to me figure it out. So it’s it’s really really fun and it’s something I’m really proud of I also have a website julianalari dot com so j u l I a n a laur is l a u r y dot com and on the website you can subscribe to my newsletter. Ah, you are just talking about. Doing a newsletter yourself I’m a big fan once a month I do put out a newsletter and I have a wonderful designer who helps to make it look amazing I like to do little recommendations on there I will mention what I’m enjoying like what books I’m enjoying I will talk about it’s like.
01:29:08.2 charukaarora Then I.
01:29:22.1 charukaarora Yeah.
01:29:25.2 Juliana Laury Grief gifts I just did 1 about on Grief I highly recommend it to you by cs lewis called um, a grief observe. Yeah yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re on it but cs lewis did a wonderful book. So it’s it.
01:29:28.1 charukaarora I am I am on your Spanish wall.
01:29:40.0 Juliana Laury The newsletter is partially what’s going on with me and partially my writing but it’s also partially things that I think would help other creative mind or or just deep thinking people. So yeah, and then if you want to go on my Instagram I do post very.
01:29:47.5 charukaarora And.
01:29:53.7 charukaarora Oh my goodness.
01:30:00.1 Juliana Laury Bratically this week I did a little bit more because I I launched my podcast but that’s at juliana laurri art j u l I a n a l a u r y um I am sometimes my I have an assistant so I have an assistant who works for me now and anytime I want to do a post.
01:30:06.9 charukaarora Are you posting yourself anymore on my bus I.
01:30:19.8 Juliana Laury She will either I will either write it and she will post it for me. So I don’t have to have the app on my phone or I will install the app post it delete the app and then she will fill me then she will do the comments and she will. She will tell me anybody in my dms that I need to answer something like that and.
01:30:28.3 charukaarora Um, and.
01:30:38.1 Juliana Laury So having an assistant has been really nice. That’s a pretty new thing but she’s been helping me to still be a presence out in the world but also to keep a lot of those values still in check in a really practical way. So it’s great.
01:30:45.3 charukaarora The answers. And I Love that.. Thank you Julia Theana guys Please if you love this conversation. Firstly I generally don’t add this to the podcast because of course it goes in the out through intro but this episode I feel is very special is spoken about a lot of things.
01:30:54.4 Juliana Laury For 1
01:31:09.9 charukaarora If You feel Connected. We’ve all spoken out about our own purposes and why we’re doing what we’re doing what we think if if anything that’s related with you. Um I think again 1 step for the 1 step is to have these conversations. The other step is to make sure that someone who’s listening on the others. We want to build a relationship with you Also because I don’t want at the end of the day this to become just a podcast while you see the numbers I Want to hear the words I want to know what people thought when we spoke about this Oh when this where they resonated what it is like what what makes them remind of someone.
01:31:38.3 Juliana Laury Yeah.
01:31:49.3 charukaarora Yeah I mean I think that is why we’re doing what you’re doing because unless we don’t have that interaction. We don’t hear from the other part of someone who’s receiving it Still everything is a number everything is still analytics and everything like that. Yeah, if you are here if it you know did. Let anything resonate with you did did a conversation remind you about something. Do you have something to add On. You know you can Also I’ve actually added this really cool feature Now. So if you go top W dot us to Hasprot Ah, ask to Haspocast Dot com. Is we have a separate website for us to has podcast and you can actually record an audio and send it across that I can actually play on the fodka. Yeah I haven’t actually spoken about that. Yeah, so.
01:32:33.5 Juliana Laury Fun. That’s a great I Love That’s so fun. Oh I can’t I can hear that that’s awesome.
01:32:44.2 charukaarora If you’re listening to this episode you want to connect with Juliana me anything you want to share you want to add to this conversation. Actually I can always make sure that we listen to those or you your voice nots that you can send on w w dot to us podcastpa dot com and. We can actually stitch a new episode out of that we would how fun would that be like we put out an episode and we hear from all of you in and that’s an episode just him in response to that? Yes guys so any of you. Yes, you all of you.
01:33:11.6 Juliana Laury Yeah I love that let’s make that happen.
01:33:20.2 charukaarora If you’ listening to this episode right? now you can go to www dot r Two hardpotcast dot com you’ll see a my sign just on the bottom you click on that record your audio and send it across and that’s it we hear from you. We’ll play it here. We. This is our podcast. This podcast is our pace to have conversations not from 1 end but from both the end that is why I’m here that is why Julianna is yeah okay, okay so much.
01:33:44.1 Juliana Laury Thank you? Yes, definitely definitely well. Thanks so much for having me.
01:33:50.9 charukaarora Thank you guys! Thank you so much. Thank you julian I’m good to let you go I love this conversation and I I can’t wait to have you back because that’s happening that’s done for the yeah yes, thank you so much. Bye.
01:33:58.4 Juliana Laury Yeah, yes, show me some dates I’m there. Ah.
01:34:08.3 Juliana Laury Bye miss.


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Ep 55. A creative mother’s letter to the universe: A page from my journal w/ Charuka Arora, Artist & Host

Ep 55. A creative mother’s letter to the universe: A page from my journal w/ Charuka Arora, Artist & Host

Flower pots enliven the atmosphere and add to the charming personality of this

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