Ep 50. The role of fear in your creative life & career
I n the 50th Episode of The Arts to Hearts Podcast,
Podcast Host & founder of Arts to hearts project Charuka Arora shares her journey of experiencing fear as she ventures out on the unexplored creative path in her life.
She shares a personal experience which gave her more clarity and control over her fears and expectations from it.
Charuka Arora, Founder of Arts To Hearts Project
AUTO TRANSLATED SCRIPT
Oh, my God, I can’t believe I am recording the 50th episode of the arts to hotspot gust. I started this podcast in March of 2021, since then a lot, a lot has happened in my life. I started this podcast because I honestly, I wanted to create a space for myself and so many more people like me who wanted to have transparent conversations, um, who loved talking to women and create a specialty.
And I thought, you know, why not? Why not create a podcast where I can have. These conversations and in that process share with so many people who may be interested and thanks to you, you’ve paid this dream possible for me. And for so many of us, I can’t believe that. We are 50 episodes in, yes, this is the 50th episode of the arts to hotspot cars.
And you are with me, the host of the arts, two hotspot gas, and the founder of Charaka. Firstly, I want to see a big thank you because if you’re even listening to this for the first time, or if you’re a regular listener, you’ve truly made this possible. The 50th episode it’s means that I’ve been here 50 times, sometimes twice a week.
I have met over and spoken over, interviewed over almost 30, 35 artists from around the globe, 35 international women artists. And only in a period of, um, what April. Oh, my God. I can’t really bet. I have spoken to people that I admired, um, got to know so much as an artist. Like, you know, how many things that goes behind the scenes.
I know what happens in my studio, but it’s so much more, um, involving uplifting and eye opening. You know what happens in, in the minds, heart and the studios of so many other artists like me, um, who have chores in a creative life, a creative cardio, we spend hours in isolation from spend years crafting their own practice, finding their ways, figuring out their businesses and so much more.
Okay. Again, I want to say a big welcome to the arts to hotspot cars. And this special episode is it’s for you. I want to dedicate this to you because if you wouldn’t have been here, I don’t think I would have been able to be so consistent and feel so empowered. And, you know, I would, I want to come back here because I know your state, you heal your, all of you, um, you know, And listening to this podcast, send your messages, your support, your love has pushed me really, really so much.
Okay. For this episode, I actually wanted to speak about something that really happened, uh, recently. And it, it was like a little incident that too good. So many feelings for me, some good, some bad, but also it’s one incident that made me realize. Why am I here and why I’m doing this? So let me quickly share in this episode, if you know, this is a mini episode where I share my experiences, what I’ve learned, something that’s happened or some advisers or.
Guest host, but you know, recently I started doing more of these solo episodes, just, just a way to document my own journey, share it with you and just build a relationship with more transparency and see what goes behind in running anything on everything that goes into being. Okay. So let me tell you what happened.
So I called up, uh, like one of my friends and, you know, like how social media works. We all think everyone’s doing great. Everyone is doing good, you know, successful and all of those things, but that’s actually not the entire truth. So to what I believe that my friend was doing great and, you know, achieving all the goals, uh, crashing, you know, career and everything.
And. When I spoke to her, to my shock, she shared completely something opposite to that, which was that she wasn’t really enjoying what she was doing and that she, she, she was basically not in a good place and was not feeling as supported as she would like to now, you know, on a typical day, um, I wouldn’t have felt this way.
But sometimes when you hear someone else’s struggle insecurities, and you feel like if you’re an impact, you would, you feel very connected and associated to them. And, um, a lot of times when you have similar insecurities, like someone else, when they rise, we for them. The meat rice for you as well. And that’s what happened with me.
So when I was speaking to my friend, I spoke to her and, you know, we discussed about why things were not working out how she was not liking it, how she was so scared and all of those things. And I, of course uplifted her, shared my advice, um, showed her support and all of those things. And when I left that call, I sat to myself and.
For some reason, I, I felt triggered and fig freaked out, freaked out because somehow when on that call, the fears that she spoke about were very real and fears that I also had within me. But I was in a way, you know, fighting them every day. Um, the fear of not being enough to fear, what if this is not my path to feel what.
I just got lucky a few times and maybe it wouldn’t happen again. The field that, um, art is maybe not the most sustainable cardio. What if everything crashes down one day, you know, sometimes I would wake up and I would feel like, what the hell am I doing? How am I going to make this work? How do I keep going?
And some other days I feel like, oh my God, I am so aligned with who I am, what I want to do. And, you know, honestly, it’s now. An earlier line. Um, it’s always like a craft that goes, keeps coming up and down. So on that day on when I woke up, I had no such feelings, but when I spoke to her and I kept the call, um, I felt, I felt the panic and, um, the trigger within me.
And I was like, I, I felt like those, those fears that we spoke about a Saturday. Suddenly not only hers, but mine, of course they were within me. But at that moment they felt like they were just, they, they took over, they took over because, uh, I felt like, oh my God, um, what if she’s struggling? What if, um, am I, am I not being too practical?
Am I not being enough? Am I, um, you know, what if I think everything works out and what if everything does not work out and it took me a while to put my self together. And at that point I realized that if I don’t speak to someone, myself says. I wouldn’t be able to get through this. So like always I spoke to my friend and my, my partner who I can fight very closely to.
And I spoke to him and I shared how, um, you know, how I feel so scared and, you know, I don’t know. I think every entrepreneur, any, any artist, anyone who’s who’s said that we own an unexplored. Feels this every other day, uh, the fear of unknown, the fear of success. But even then we pursue what we want to do because we were passionate about it.
And I remember, um, sharing this, um, With my partner on a jive. And I, I cried for a very long time. I, I cried so much because I had to, like, in the past few months I had a really hard time. And I said like, what is, I am not, you know, I said like, I was not doing enough because of my own personal life, because of.
All of that was happening. And my, um, my thought that if I’m not performing enough, it’s not going to work enough. And what if it just worked? Because I got lucky. What if things don’t work in the future? How unpredictable, uh, a creative career is even though, even though I have been a creative professional working on my own for the past almost eight years now, I was, I started my freelance when I was in college.
I’m not, let’s say even I don’t count. Those two years, I still have a working professional for the past eight years. I’ve been working on my own as a creative for so many years. And in spite of that, um, every few months, every few years, this, this fear comes back and I told him how, how scared I was and how this whole incident, not only, um, It, it reminded me of my own insecurities of, um, how hard I feel it sometimes.
And I, at that, at one point I felt like, oh my God, how am I going to pick myself back again from here? Because I felt like at, at some point I felt like those views had taken over me so much that I did not have any more power to just, um, Go through like, you know, get over them. And the good thing is that my partner is also an entrepreneur.
He’s been, um, in, in this, you know, business world for so long. And he completely gets what I feel like what he faces. And, and that is when you know, that is why I always confide with them within him because, you know, I knew he gets it. And we spoke about how both of our parts are an unexplored. Um, sometimes very terrorizing and hard and like, you know how, even though it feels very hard, we still want to do it and why we want to do it.
And he, he reminded me to ask myself those questions. Why am I still doing it? And what if, what if I told you what if I don’t do it? Will I be able to accept the fact that I don’t, uh, do all the things that I’m doing today and also acknowledging the fact that sometimes, um, someone else’s fields are not entirely ours, that.
We may have similar fears, but we do differently. We act differently and we feel differently. What may be true for someone may not be true for you. And in that hole here it is. I felt like, oh my God. Um, at one point I was freaked out, but if. Like an hour later when I was schooled down, I rented out, um, everything I had within me, I realized that even though how hard it would be, how hard it already is, how unpredictable, um, lonely, um, difficult, all of this feels it is, it still fulfills me.
It excites me. It, it, it still feels that I am going to. Where I want to be. And I trust that as I have found my path, the easier, the hard way in these past few years, I’m still going to find it from here. Um, and then I asked myself that we all have those fears for some it’s real because maybe it’s not their path.
And for some, it’s just a fear that we all have the fear of unknown the field of, um, Walking in an unexplored part. And then I sat to myself and I envisioned like, you know, if I’m feeling this way, let me check out. What, why, why, why am I? And if there’s something Judy, um, viewed within that, and I asked myself is, you know, what I truly envisioned for my life is if I don’t see myself on this creative part, do I see something.
Um, do I want to chase something different than where I am right now? And to all those questions? My answer was very, uh, different because I felt in my soul, I feel very aligned to what I’m doing. Of course I’m not perfect. I still struggle. Um, Still don’t work out a lot of times, um, all of those things, but I know that that’s a part of the process and I know what’s keeping me behind and all of those things, but in my heart, I knew that I always envisioned a life where.
I could be, you know, creatively empowering on my own, um, you know, create more opportunities for other people to have a voice of my own, to share with that. I never thought to be able to work for someone else. For some reason, I always loved my autonomy on my projects. I love working to my own schedule. Um, I can’t commit to, um, one thing I love exploring in different directions and the path that I’ve taken is something that I have purposely cultivated and created in a way that gives me, um, the power to explore in so many different creative directions in, you know, today I’m, I’m, I’m recording this podcast.
I am running arts to hearts project, which is a platform where. Opportunities for artists. I host studio visits. Um, I get to speak to so many inspiring women, uh, creators, other creatives. And then I have my own creative practice of, of course I want to add so much more and believe me. Um, I have been working on so many new things behind the scenes.
Of course they are little side projects, passion projects, projects of interest, nothing serious, nothing. That’s going to come out very soon. Yeah, it, it keeps me, um, it keeps me ignited. It keeps me spot and that’s what really matters to me. I want to get up every day and feel that I want to do this. And on most days I do feel that not on every day, because that’s not how, I mean, it doesn’t work that way, at least not for me.
And in, in that, uh, In that hour, I felt like I still feel all those fears. I still felt all those feelings even then, but what was even more powerful was my vision of where I want to be. How, how passionately I want to be that, and I don’t want to give up for anything else. Uh, not for money, not for pride, not for anything.
I want to do this because my heart to do to the one set and I’ve been doing this because my heart truly to reverse. Why I’m sharing this with you is what I learned with this incident was that sometimes, um, when we hear someone else’s fields, we need to realize and remember that not all fields, our, our eyes, um, this came to me as a reminder.
Whatever I take from the outside world, I need to filter it so myself and understand that, um, what I’m feeling, we may be completely for a different reason completely. Um, yeah. Different. And I don’t have to, um, I, I need to keep this boundary with myself that I need to understand that not all those fears are truly, always mine.
And sometimes, you know, what I realized from this incident was that we, we actually need to keep facing our fears every now and then in whatever form they come, because. Happened post this incident was that I became more confident of what I wanted. I was reminded that even though my fears still live inside of me, I have to fight them every day because what I want will come after this.
So, you know, write that book, even if you’re scared off, um, make that series, even if it’s it’s a risky. You know, it’s off your style or, or record that podcast or launch that platform, do that magazine launch that consulting or change that cardio, no matter what that is, if that’s what is what your heart wants, even the way it makes you scared as hell, it freaks you out, it freezes your body.
It’s okay. We all feel that I feel that we all do. I know that so many of close people of mine recite, and me, and most of them honestly are, are creative entrepreneurs or entrepreneurs and artists. So we all feel that, but in spite of that fear, we everyday choose to do what we want to do. And. Ahead of that is what lies our dream and that’s okay.
That’s okay to have these like these. I remember when I wanted to start this podcast, I thought about launching a podcast for over in here and it took me so, so long to get over that fear. Of holding this mic or recording editing. My episode was pudding sharing my real self. Oh my God. I can’t even tell you how, how hopefully doubt I was about that.
And not that I, I feel so much better now. It feels very national to me, but not. I’m not afraid at times. I am. Sometimes when I’m sharing something, that’s very personal, something that may not show the best side of me or whatever those reasons may be. Um, it still freaks me out. But ahead of that, I know lies what I want to do yet.
I want to create this as a place where I don’t have to pretend I’m perfect. I don’t have to pretend. I know it all. I want to create a space where I share that this has happened to me. I am in this. Is anyone out there here? Who’s feeling the same way as am I, or that I know that I, and people around me are feeling this.
So if you are alone, don’t forget that we are all with you in this. So yeah, the 50th episode is this reminder for myself and you, if you wrote together in this, uh, we freak out, we find. We feel scared. But after that, we realized what we truly want when, when your heart truly wants to pursue something, even when you’re so scared of it, it is only your passion that takes you forward.
Nobody wants to go through that horror or that, you know, that experience because, oh, you, they want to give it a try. They truly want to make that possible. And if you keep that. I totally believe in this, that if we keep at it, it’s going to get you where you want to be. So, yeah, that’s what the 50th episode is.
Again, I can’t believe I’m recording this 50th episode, sharing my life, my everything, learning from so many people doing this. It still feels like a dream come true. I am so grateful for you. I really, really want to say a big, thank you. Maybe I’ll do something special. I still haven’t thought about it. You know what also violate record this.
I also feel like we often need to celebrate little achievements, little, little experiences, experiences that we all will. Um, you all will remember all our lives. I remember when I launched this podcast and today feels even special because I, um, I said to myself that I’m going to do this no matter how hard it is.
Even if it shows, notice ALS I’m going to do this every week for the next hundred episodes. Yes. I committed to myself that I’m going to show up here for a hundred episodes, no matter what, even if nobody comes in, even if nobody hears it or even if it feels hard, I’m terrible at it. Whatever I’m going to do that 400 episodes and see how it goes.
I’m 56. I feel so much better. I have held a lot of you we’ve crossed over, I don’t know, 6,000 listens or something. We have a great community of I’ve had such a big support system by this podcast. And I received so many messages that you find these conversations uplifting, supportive, honest, and just real and human.
I feel that’s so important. That’s so important to me. And. I will keep doing at it because I have reached halfway my goal. And we, I know I’m going to be way, way more ahead of where I thought I wanted to be with this. I committed to a hundred episodes because I did not know how it’s going to turn out for me, but apparently this is, this is what I truly wanted for so long.
And let’s get to the next 50, let’s get to the hundred first. Okay. Let’s celebrate first. Let’s celebrate that here. Let me think. If you have an idea, do you want me to do something? Do you, um, how about we bring a few more listeners online and record an episode with our listeners. Oh, tell me, you can go to ww.as to hotspot cars.com and you’ll see a small I can with recording.
And you can, you can just record your audio and send us that maybe if you were saying, you know, how about let’s let’s let’s try this. How about. You send a message about the podcast. If you’re regular, less than a few punches for the first time, whatever fields, if you feel called to go click on the green.as two hearts, project dot arts to hotspot cus.com.
She caught a message. Send it to me. Tell me why you listened to this podcast. Why has it, if it’s helped you in any way? Or you don’t, what would you want to convey to us? Um, as listener, as someone who’s just, um, part of this community and how about we have an episode that that is just about all of you, all of your voices, um, adding those, adding a voice to.
The numbers. I mean, how beautiful would that be, but I can’t make that possible without you. So you’ll have to have to have to go on www odds to hotspot costs.com right now and send me a voicemail. Tell me what you think. Tell me if you like this podcast, why you liked this podcast. If it’s helped you, what would you want more?
And let’s make this possible again. I want to say a big, thank you for doing this. A big thank you for, you know, being a big. For the spot God’s with me, for this community, for everything else you do for showing up for yourselves, for committing to your own self improvement and to your own teams, I’m sending you lots of laws and a big hug.
And if you liked this episode, don’t forget to subscribe on apple podcast, Spotify, or anywhere else. Listen to your podcast, because it really, really helps me push this forward to reach it to a newer audience. Why didn’t our community. That’s, that’s such a big goal of mine and, and, you know, just make this a more beautiful space.
Okay. So thank you so much. I love you. And I’m going to be back soon and till I see you again, sending a be called love you. Bye.