Ep 52. The three things that got me through my massive creative block
In the 52nd Episode of The Arts to Hearts Podcast,
Podcast Host & founder of Arts to hearts project Charuka Arora shares her expereince of going through one of most intense creative block she has experienced yet.
Charuka Arora, Founder of Arts To Hearts Project
Charuka On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charukaarora/
AUTO TRANSLATED SCRIPT
I am the founder of odds, two hearts project, uh, an artist designer, and a creative entrepreneur and the host of arts to hotspot cast. Before we dig into this episode, I quickly want to remind you that. We are so excited to be sharing our last international calls for women artists in collaboration, with my beautiful friend, Victoria, fry, anguish, Nudie art collective.
If you know any field address, regular listener of this podcast, you know who Victoria has. I am so excited to be doing an ERN collaboration with visionary art collective. I’ve always, always admired the work. Victoria does. She’s really. Nearly done a lot. So the theme for this open call is actually home.
It’s quite interesting because I felt like I wanted to close the a with something that, that, that just concised it all just completed it all in home felt so perfect. The deadline to submit is 13th of December, 2021. 12 midnight EST. Yes. 13th of December 20, 21, 12 midnight EST. The selected participants will, you know, be a part of the online exhibit.
Victoria will be doing them. We do the art collective website. We’ll be covering on our Instagram accounts. We’ll be doing the video as always. There’s so much that we always try to incorporate so that we can give artists as maximum visibility and connections and coverage as possible. So if you’re interested, you can click on the link here below, uh, on this podcast that you’re listening, or you can also go to ww.art, still hearts, project.com/submit.
I hope to see your submission and you soon, but let’s get back into the episode today. Okay. I have been wanting actually originally what I thought this episode would be. I wanted to share one of my journal pages, which I wrote a few weeks ago. And ever since then, I felt like I really wanted to share this.
It was something that really helped me feel so better, and I felt like it would really help more people out there. But unfortunately, I don’t have my journal with me today. I’m back in the studio and. I forgot. So I thought, why not talk about something else? And which came to my mind was what’s been happening with me right now.
So if you know, I don’t know how much times I’ve already spoken about, um, everything that’s been going on in my life and everything that’s been happening. But today I have a flip side to share. So you know how I was struggling with. Creative blocks and like a lot of, um, mental, you know, Uh, space. Actually, I had a habit of living alone.
I used to spend a lot of time by myself and I still, still want to do that. I’m I don’t know if I’ve really shared this, but I’m really, really excited to be going back to Delhi. And after this month, uh, start the new year with a fresh slate. I am. It’s been, it’s been long time. Of, um, this change and a lot has happened, but I know I need to move on and I’m excited.
I’m excited for arts too hot. I have a few really amazing projects that will begin by 2022 and my own art practice. Okay. So back back to where I was, I get sidelined. So yeah, like I was struggling with the studio. Suddenly, I mean, I just did not know what to do. I’d be just keeping at it. Um, I was really working hard with our two hearts at that point because I was really struggling in the studio and that’s something I really learned in my own experience.
Something that I know works or happens for me when I’m, I am into, um, art still hurts too much. Um, I’m so focused that it’s hard for me to know. We’ll be back in the studio, in the mindset that I feel more fulfilled with versus when I am very, very focused with my own practice. I have like, I am working on a series or idea or something.
I know that things. Somewhere else, take a little backseat. And honestly, it felt very hard for me in the beginning because, you know, I have the perfection bug and I want to do everything all the time perfectly, but honestly I have learned this year that I have to keep, you know, I have to let go. I can keep working hard.
I can keep pushing myself. But if I, I really can’t control. Uh, there’ll be things happen. And for some reason, if I can’t step into two boats at some point, I mean, of course. Um, but I can, you know, take one, vote ahead at one point, then go back and bring another one. And, you know, I think that’s how just, um, things move forward now for me.
Okay. So it was, since the fall has started, I felt this shift in my. You know, in my own mood, I felt like, um, I was getting more like free in the sense in the studio. I was having more ideas. My. My self reflection was getting better. And, you know, I observed that a lot of things that contributed to this factor that I wanted to share in this episode, the first thing is the, I think the hardest part, the hardest part was to keep at it.
I think the first phase, when you feel that you are in a dry zone is to, is to just understand. You are in a dry zone. I was like, like a few months back when I was in the studio, I would come every day I would push so hard. I would, I didn’t actually stop making at all. I mean, I, I, I alternatively kept making it in some way or the other, if I wasn’t ready for a canvas, I would make on paper.
If people was too overwhelming, I would do my mini sketchbook mini sketchbook, if not. Just anything, just anything. It was so hard. Believe me. I, I don’t know. I mean, to feel that disappointment every day was so hard. I mean, I felt like I was all over the place. I did not know what I wanted to say anymore. I did not know what I was doing.
The only thing, the only fear was that, what if I lose everything? What if I don’t have it anymore? And that really was very hard. I mean, It was such a hard time for me because honestly, um, with the laws that I’ve had this year, a lot of times, my first instinct, um, has begun. What if I lose this too? What if this will also go?
What if, you know, and I’m, I’m still trying to work on that, but I think it it’ll take a little bit of time to understand and, you know, heal myself that, um, things can get better. So, yeah, the first phase is when you push too hard and nothing seems to be working. I was pushing so, so hard. I would come to the studio and I thought, you know, when I, I remember sharing this, that my old studio was, was just, it had.
I, it just, just had no energy. I really needed to get out of there. And I thought maybe moving to the next studio, a new space, a new vibe, everything would make things better on one end. I do feel it made things a little bit better, honestly, for me. Um, I just love that process of, you know, setting things up, creating something from scratch.
So I was very excited to set up the whole studio space and, you know, I was, I was creating in that farm, but you know, the kale, the guilt of not making the work. So, yeah, I had that guilt for a long time, but then I had to let it go. Then of course the studio helped a bit. It was a good change of environment to work, but even then I did not know what was happening.
I was pushing, pushing, pushing. I knew where I thought I wanted to be. I knew where I wanted to be at in the week I had my region, but I did not know exactly what it looked like, what I really wanted to materialize it into. And then, you know, it was really. This I feel is one of the hardest period, uh, when you are stuck in a rat is to keep trying to keep trying to keep trying, thankfully, um, I did not give up because I was too afraid to give up.
My fear of giving up is way, way more than my fear of losing. So I did not give up the second stage was when I realized that yes, I’m stuck in a. I’ve tried. I have like literally tried my best and instead of pushing myself to go where I want to be, why not? Uh, just give myself some grace and space and time to do.
You know, relax. That’s what I did. I feel like this was the second phase where I felt a little bit of shift. I acknowledged the fact that I’m trying too hard, but nothing seems to be working. I acknowledge the fact that this could be a face. This is a face. Yeah. I think that makes a lot of difference. And I knew that things didn’t, that worked for me before, when not working anymore.
And this is something that I know about myself. I am someone who loves to team because it gives a structure to my day and all of those things. But I’m also someone who hates monotonous things. Let me explain you. So what really works for me is I want to do something for a set. Let’s say if I have a routine, I would do it for a set number of days.
Let’s say, if I love working out, I wake up early in the morning. I love working out. And I would do that. I would do that for months and then I get bored and I take, get too monotonous when they get too predictable for me, I need a challenge for myself. So I would not change my routine, but I will. My workout.
I would change the way I work out or maybe, um, instead of doing training, I would do yoga instead of doing yoga. I would do something else that just, that just brings me back to the ground because, um, it breaks my pattern of predictability and it just gives me a fresh perspective. Like I need to work hard again and like, you know, it just builds that up for me.
So that’s what I did. I was like, okay, I need to break the. Things are not working. I have tried too hard and maybe if I push myself too much, now I may break and I do go, uh, I took some rest. I, um, thought about things, um, that, you know, I wanted to do further though. I just, I just try to read more. I was reading a lot of self help, books and podcasts and all of those things.
And I. I felt that nothing had changed. But I think now when I look in retrospect, it was the beginning of some, some kind of change. The next thing that I knew I wanted to, like, I needed inspiration. I needed to see things from a fresh perspective and I needed to, uh, change my patterns. So what I did was usually, um, I wouldn’t like, you know, So the past two years, we were all stuck in our homes.
Our experiences are very limited and all of those things. So one, I mean, in my recent trip to Delhi, I, I just stumbled upon a bookstore. I went into it and I found some really fabulous books, really fabulous books. So I, I also share them on my Instagram. If you are not connected, I am available on Instagram as and I love to see you there, but.
I went into the bags back in the bookstore and I found a few books. And the first thing, what I noticed was how I was picking those books. What was interesting me, the questions within me, the biggest point was, uh, it became an outlet for me to recognize, um, the kind of questions I was asking. And they will materializing informs of the books that I was searching.
And that truly helped. The third phase was when things became the environmental things became more amicable for me. And I figured what is it like a good trigger point for me in the sense that a positive point, um, I love fall. I love waking up in the morning. Of the fall. I love sitting by myself, on my desk, lighting a candle, I’m reading a book.
I recently bought a typewriter, shocking pink typewriter that I’m absolutely loving, spending, more time with. And like ever since the father dived, you know, I would wake up in the morning. I would come in the studio and I would like, again, and I generally use like when I lost scented candles and like, I just loved the.
Well, you know, lighting candles, having candles on my desk and I feel good, like how that was setting me into creative zone that I actually had, um, Julie missing before. And it was such a flat, fresh, uh, take. I felt like I forced my detachment towards, from the process. I. I was more focused towards reading.
I was more to focus towards learning more about questions that I had. I did not really question. Why am I reading this? Why do I want this? I was like, if I’m interested in this, why not? And then having a create, like setting that mood. Oh my God. That is so important for me. I know now I, the way I work. To start into it.
I mean, to get into it, I need to get into a mood, especially when it’s very hard, when I’m of course inspired I’m on, on the flow and everything. I don’t need anything, but when it’s hard for me, I figured that if I’m able to set a mood for myself, lighting the candle, if it’s little winter, and if I’m in a, in a dark room where I can just be myself and have my thoughts by myself, that’s a great beginning point for me from there, I can get into the process and not get about more things, but that’s how it is.
I really wanted to share these thoughts, because again, if you are also anywhere, I was, I feel so much better. I felt like I was in this dark alley. I was, you know, navigating, I was taking a left. I was taking a right. I was going to kill, I was climbing and I just could not find. Light. It was so hard. I felt like the night was not ending and I was afraid that it would never end.
There will never be a sunlight, but thankfully from the other side today, I can tell you that there definitely is. You just maybe need to strategize a little differently. You need to, uh, sit back and first day. Uh, where you want to be, uh, start manifesting. Like I visualizing, you know, something that I also did a lot in this process was because I was so, so, uh, deprived of this whole creative zone, I started imagining how, um, I would be making my work, how my work, uh, would look like how I would shoot my work, photograph it presents.
Whatever triggers you, whatever interests you. And that’s such a good beginning point to understand where and what you want spending time with yourself and asking your questions in different mediums. I mean, in sense of books, in sense of movies and sometimes just not looking for it. So many things I found that helped me to be.
It’s been, I wasn’t looking, I knew nothing about, and like suddenly I realized, oh my God, this is something that, you know, oh, this is an answer I was looking for, or this is something that I really needed to know. And that’s been such, um, such a learning. What I really want to say is that if you’re anywhere there.
Believe me when I’m saying this, believe me, I was in such a hard phase that it gets better. It, it will get better. You just need to know how you can bring yourself in your mood. You need to recruit. You’re like graceful for yourself, kind to yourself. Detach yourself from the pressure of making something, the pressure of good, the pressure of bat, uh, just visualize what you want and believe in yourself and step back at sometimes disconnect and then come back from a fresh perspective.
Sometimes it’s very hard for us to disconnect from the mental pressures that we will from. So I think disconnecting is quite important. And again, one of the most hard things, but very important is to keep at it. Don’t give up on yourself. I think that’s very important. I feel like in the past few months I had so many chances to give up on myself.
So many I had, I had a traumatic experience of my life. Things were not easy at all. They are not easy. Even today. I am believe me. I am so, so anxious about things that I need to do next month, the whole move. And like going back to another life that I left two years ago and, you know, starting from like, you know, building it from scratch again, and, you know, being this new person that I feel today, all of those things and, you know, sometime.
Taking that leap is very difficult, but what really helps is what will come after that. And that’s how I take most of my leaps. I mean, everything I visualize what I will get. If I get through this, if I get through the hard part, what am I going to get? How is that? Do I want it that bad? Do I want to live?
If I do that, I need to get through the heart part and it really helps me. It usually helps me. Okay. I hope this episode helped you. I had a great time and I hope it connects with you with if it’s nothing. I, I just want to share it. I feel grateful to be able to share what’s happening with me in my life.
In my world in my mind with you here. And I really appreciate you always being a good listener. And if you listening to this episode, please let me know what you think. I always always love listening back from you. I would love to know who you are, tapping your stories, share this episode, all. If you want, you can reach out to me.
You can also submit a voice note on WWI or WW dot arts to hotspot cost.com. And I just want to say a big, big, thank you. And I can’t wait to see you soon again, sending you a big hug. Bye.
In the 43rd episode of the Arts to Hearts podcast, our host Charuka Arora interviews Artist Laura fedorowicz an abstract artist and art lover based in Winona, Ontario.
The spoke about the unrealistic pressure of social media in our lives, the struggles of building a creative business and returning to their art practices after being lost.
To know more about Laura:
Connect with Our Host Charuka on:
Keep In Touch With Us at Arts To Hearts Project! @artstoheartsproject
YEAR END INTERNATIONAL CALL FOR WOMEN ARTISTS
A collaboration between @artstoheartsproject & @visionaryartcollective
Guest curator: Victoria J Fry, Artist, educator & founder of visionary art collective
Eligibility:Women artists across the globe
Deadline: 13th December 12 midnight EST